Soothing Sounds

Baby Joaquin is a mellow baby. He seems to take after Daniel in most ways. But more about that later. He does a lot of sleeping. From what I hear, that's like finding out your in-laws own a place in the Caribbean. Funny thing is that he sleeps best when there is loud background noise. So we have taken to taking the baby out to parties, restaurants, breweries where we know the roar of the crowd will make him conk out.

At the Jupiter Pub last Tuesday, he slept like an angel. At Kate and Luka's Christmas party, he snoozed like a pro. At Friday's couples-with-baby dinner party, he was the picture of well-behaved napping in a bouncer chair as Daniel and I leisurely enjoyed our meal. Yet when we take him home between nursing and spells of complacent observation, he squawks. "Wah!" (translation "I am a baby and my stomach hurts!)"

We need some white noise at home. Daniel and I talked about a white noise machine. But reports from the public say those machines become additive for the whole family. We've heard dishwashers make baby lulling sounds. But how often can we run our dishwasher? We tried putting Daniel's Norelco electric shaver next to Joaquin. He calmed down but the shaver motor isn't designed to be on for hours at a time.
Daniel had the brilliant idea of a baby CD of Soothing Sounds.

Soothing Sounds for Babies
Track 1: Blender
Track 2: Washing Machine
Track 3: Vacuum
Track 4: Fan
Track 5: Car idling
Track 6: Radio Static

I think Daniel is on to something here. When we get some spare time, we'll head to a recording studio with a mess of motorized appliances. I predict it to be a hit, up there with "Happiest Baby on the Block" Dr. Karp's method of soothing crying babies (which we ordered off the internet at 11 p.m. last Wednesday.)

Thank you all

Time out from descriptive writing on pregnancy and new babies.
I want to say a sincere THANK YOU to everyone who sent good wishes or a gift or delivered a meal to me, Daniel and Joaquin. I truly feel loved. Perhaps more so than ever in my life.
I am working on thank you cards but in the meantime please know I appreciate you all.

Love,
Claudia

On the pursuit of milk

Baby Joaquin loves milk. He indulges easily 12 times a day. He slurps, he gulps, he sucks. He also spits a lot of milk back up. The milk goes into his belly. The milk goes into the deep folds in his neck where the sun never shines. I try to wipe it out regularly but nevertheless he makes cheese under his chin. The milk also encrusts daily on his clothes and mine. He's a baby.

Last Tuesday night, walking the six blocks home from our BART station after a visit to the Jupiter Brewery, I notice a cat behind me. When I stop and turn around, the cat stops and ducks quickly under a juniper bush. I walk again and the cat walks again. A few steps later I stop and turn and the cat hides behind a car tire. It appears when I walk, the cat walks and when I stop the cat stops too. Weird, I think. After a block the cat drops from our trail.

Another block towards home and suddenly I notice another cat is following us. A different cat. Again the creeping and hiding. This calico cat stalks us to our doorstep. Should I be frightened? These cats must smell the milk on the baby and me. And are in hot pursuit. Another creature that loves milk.

Suddenly the half heard fishwives-tales of cats sucking the breath of newborns come to mind. In the dark misty night these superstitious tales seem just possible.

Joaquin Rafael Eyzaguirre Sherwood

There is so much I want to write about. But I am enjoying living in the real world and less on the world wide web so I won't write as much as I could, yet.

Yesterday Daniel, Joaquin and I went down to Vital Statistics in Berkeley. Joaquin Rafael now officially exists! We filed the copious paperwork to get his official birth certificate. He was 14 days old. It took me a week to name him. I loved all three of our top choices. (See blog post What's in a name?.)

We like the name Joaquin. I like the soft sounds of it. Daniel likes that it is two simple syllables. My whole life I have introduced myself with the distinctive name Claudia Eyzaguirre. (say Cloud- dee-a Aze-a-gear-ray) I can't imagine going through life without a name the tells a story, hints at your ethnic background and adds mystic to your persona. So I hope the Joaquin prescribes that for my little boy.

Joaquin also comes from an Oakland redwood-filled park named Joaquin Miller. Joaquin Miller was a very cool California figure. He was a writer, an outdoorsman, a poet and an enlightened rapscallion. Read about Joaquin Miller on Wikipedia. In the park Joaquin Miller, I have spent many hours mountain biking and hiking.

So that's his name. Funny how few people commented on our name finalists when I posted them on this blog in August. Yet there were lots of opinions as I checked the name with family and friends last week. Aside from 'how do you spell that?', most people liked the name. I like what my friend Melissa said 'I think Joaquin is a sexy name'.

He has both our last names. Although his last last name is Sherwood and in the good ol' US of A, your last last name is your last name. If we were in a Spanish-speaking country his last name would be Sherwood Eyzaguirre. Daniel and I both want the baby to have our last name. But in the week of total bliss and magnanimity that followed the birth of my baby boy, I conceded this position of honor to Daniel.

Auspicious Beginning

Longer blog post to follow, for now:

Our baby boy was born at 5pm on November 4th, just in time to watch the historic acceptance speech with us. He was 8 1/2 lbs. at birth and came into the world in our bedroom with the assistance of our great birth team: our very competent midwife Cindy, her apprentice Julia, her assistant midwife Tenaya and Claudia's friend Melissa.

Bicycle Built for Two (plus)

By Guest Blogger
Daniel Sherwood

Last month we discovered possibly the best invention in transportation for pregnancy since priority seating on public transit. It sure is nice to have friends around and Claudia has many. Berkeley can feel like a small town, our own little Wasilla, surrounded on all sides like an island in a sea of mega city. It's hard to go to the farmer's market or to see some music without bumping into a few friends.

One of Claudia's long time Berkeley buddies, Kailin, who still lives at his parent's old house behind a huge banana tree in north Berkeley did us the great favor of lending us his tandem cruiser. It's an old school, bright yellow, steel frame, fixed gear ride for two with a large basket on the front handlebars.

I get a sense of what it feels like to be famous when I tow Claudia and her belly around town. We are greeted everywhere by smiles and shouts along the lines of "She's not peddling!" or "That bike fits two and a half!".

It helps of course to have California weather. The Santa Anna winds have been blowing hot desert air out towards the sea for the last several days and consequently the temperature has reached 80 degrees (that's 26 for you folks north of the border).

Yesterday we took advantage, brought the tandem to San Francisco and pedaled through Golden Gate park, past the living roof on the new Academy of Sciences building, past herds of buffalo and the roller skating disco all the way out to Ocean Beach.

I felt spoiled lying on the beach on a beautiful sunny day less than a week from Halloween. Add a couple bloody mary's to the mix, one virgin, one not, and you've got a perfect day that re-affirms the fact that you can still have fun while 8 months pregnant.

Solar Conference San Diego

I spent this week in San Diego at the Solar Power International Conference. It's the world's largest solar conference and a good time. Even with 12,000 attendees I felt like a celebrity as I carried my 35+ week belly around the conference center and in and out of meetings. Being so pregnant actually worked to my favor. At such a large event with solar big shots present, I got more than my typical share of face time as both men and woman asked after my health and due date. So many folks shared a story from their wife's birth or own pregnancy. I was definitely more than another face in the crowd. Plus I think I earned some extra props for traveling, working and smiling with a huge baby in utero.

The solar energy industry and policy world is full of very cool people. The typical solar nerd tends to be eco-minded, forward thinking, adventurous and young. Plus there are a lot of women at the top. Martha Duggan, a VP at SunEdison told me this was in part because when electricity was de-regulated several years ago, a lot of women got out of the old boy queue at utilities and led the way at new companies in a newly competitive market. More than a few leading women in solar have shared both their enthusiasm for being a mother and a kick-ass solar leader. The stories of testifying before the state utilities commission two days before a due date or taking five months off to be with her new baby have both inspired and reassured me. Is there a secret club of professional moms that you join after having a baby?

Many folks asked me about whether the airline let me fly. Southwest Airlines says flying is fine through the 28th week and does not require a doctors note. Maybe those cheerful flight attendants are also skilled labor coaches? I was not worried about the 90 minute flight. I did worry about being overly tired, but Daniel attended the conference too and so I knew I had a good personal assistant. Mostly I had worried about what I was going to wear. I wish I had pictures but I think I looked pretty spiffy in two blue maternity dresses I got second hand recently and a pair of maternity gaucho shorts and top purchased late Friday night. With the dresses, I refused to concede to my condition and wore the cutest turquoise and navy open-toe wedge heels. The best compliment you can give a pregnant woman is to call her a hot mama. I smiled every time someone said so.

San Diego was a great trip. I built on relationships key for my policy work. I had fun at the open bar and appetizer parties every night. I asked my co-workers to down a free drink for me, and I think I may have come out on top as I was clear-headed each morning. And it was great to be with Daniel. We both realized what a joy it was to be foot-loose and fancy free, my 11 o'clock curfew not with standing, to schmooze with solar friends, change flights at a moments notice, ride a beach cruiser from the hotel to conference grounds. I was aware it may be awhile before we travel with such ease.

Election Baby

When people ask me when I am due, as they do. I often reply, right after the election.

Yes the presidential election has taken on even greater importance for me as it coincides with the coming of my first child. Everyone tells us that the baby will "blow our world" apart but still I don't want the disappointment of a McCain presidency seeping into the edges of my joy.
Even moreso I want to imagine my child coming into a world where a black man can be president of the United States. Into a country that is turned towards reason, care of humanity and a clean energy future. Seriously, every time I think of Obama addressing an audience in France where brown minorities are still second class citizens or presidents in Africa, I get chills on my skin. I do believe that these moments come. I am cautiously hopeful that Obama will win. That and I am religiously checking realclearpolitics.com to see what the polls say. All polls say Obama by a slim margin.

So after I say the baby is due around election time. I say that I am planning on calling the baby "Hope". Pretty good huh?

Pregnant with Commute

I work in San Francisco. In SOMA, the South of Market District. I really enjoy my job- we do cutting edge solar energy policy and advocacy at Vote Solar. And I work with some pretty smart and clever people. Just Monday my boss said he thought we should send every member of Congress a duck with one leg. I giggled for 30 minutes.

But I live in Berkeley, the sunnier, crunchier, plainer cousin to San Francisco. That means to get to work I must commute. The Bay Area being so...cool, I have two good options. Casual carpool and BART.

To get to work, I take casual carpool. Casual carpool has been going on for about two decades. I think the '89 earthquake caused bridge collapse was the start of it. Casual carpool is a collection of maybe a dozen places around the Bay where drivers stop to pick up two passengers so that they may use the carpool lane. The driver gets free passage through the tolls and no restrictive metering lights. The carpool lane can cut anywhere for 10-50 minutes off a commute. Everything is very business casual- freshly showered passengers, a tacit no talking rule that is rarely broken. The passengers are dropped off in downtown SF to make their own way to their offices. The casual carpool runs for the same hours as the carpool lane- 7 a.m. to 9:45 a.m. I have no idea how many thousands of people get to work that way every day.

My other option is BART, the bay area metro. I love BART. I chose my apartment by its proximity to BART. I consider a Metro a must for my home city. BART is no NYC subway but I'll take it. I ride BART home, since their is no afternoon casual carpool (no fees outward across the bridge, no carpool). BART has gotten very, very crowded during rush hour since gas prices skyrocketed. Even for a pregnant lady, it is not easy to get a seat. It's usually some 40-ish mother or a new father, that offer me a seat. I mean to send BART a note requesting public service announcements reminding people to vacate the disability seats near the door.

With BART or the carpool, I have a walk at either end. In fact, walking to and from stations or pick-ups means that I walk a minimum of 3 miles everyday. I used to love this. The beautiful yards in my Berkeley neighborhood, the numerous coffee shops, the sharp SF work crowd. Now I have to admit I find the 1.5 miles each way exhausting. I collapse into my comfy work chair or lunge for the sofa at home. And for the last several months, Daniel has driven me to the carpool pick-up station. Now I know I am really pregnant. I am winded on these short walks.

I have five more weeks of work. I can't imagine driving to work ($10/day parking aside) so I wonder what I will do if I get more tired. Thankfully, I no longer work Wednesdays. The two day, break, two day rhythm is a God-send.

Here are some new pictures of me. See how my belly has grown!

Try this at Home

Last night we attended another session of our childbirth preparation class.
We practiced dealing with the pain of contractions. This is something that you can all do at home. Feel free to try it! Those of you who have birthed babies may have some interesting comments to share.

The teacher, LJ, handed each couple a cup full of ice cubes.
She asked us to take a big handful of ice in our right hand and hold it for one minute.
I-Ya-Yi! oooh ooh!
The ice burned my hand. It ached. I hopped in my seat, laughed, exhaled deeply. Then a minute was up. Contractions typically last one minute.

The rest of the class was looking at me and laughing. Each person then shared their reaction. None complained of the painful sensations I had felt. And I am the only one having a natural homebirth! Daniel said "I'm from Canada. I didn't even notice".

After a five minute rest, LJ asked us to again hold ice in the other hand for a minute but this time to focus on our exhales.
ouch! ouch.
But this minute passed faster and easier. This time I was prepared for the intense ice sensation.

Rest, next we held the ice and focused on relaxing from our toes to our head. Not so bad.

The next round LJ asked us to focus right in on the pain and the sensation. I looked at Daniel nervously. But surprising, this minute passed the fastest yet.

We continued this exercise for a total of eight times. I may choose to practice a few more times at home myself. It's an interesting experience into your reactions to challenging situations.

It could be a fun party game. Let me know if you do it.

Play list

I am working a play list of songs for this pregnancy. My idea is to create a mix of good songs with the word "baby" in it. There are a lot of songs to choose from.

So far I have:
Baby Love by Diane Ross
Some People Want It All by Alicia Keys
Nobody by the Baby by Emmilou Harris with Alison Krauss and Gillian Welsch


I know there are more. Please make suggestions. Hopefully I'll be able to post the playlist on this blog for you all to download when its finished.

Baby Party

In an early post, I asked how am I supposed to get excited for this baby?
A good answer came in the form of a baby party. A baby party- like a baby shower where everyone gets together the celebrates the coming of the baby but without the presents. So luckily I have a couple good friends that offered to host and help plan the party. Erin offered her lovely backyard and house for the BBQ for any number of friends that I want to invite. And Melissa has helped come up with some great party activities.

Since we wont be sitting around opening presents and I definitely wanted to include Daniel and other men, we thought up some fun games. The best one is the Stroller Relay Race. The idea is we'll have teams of 3 or 4 that will have to race a course with an umbrella stroller and extra challenges like carrying a coffee cup without spilling any. The relay race course will be Erin's driveway.
We are also going to set up a due date betting pool. My due date is a little foggy- one doc said November 9th another November 12th and the conventional method says November 5th. So your guess is as good as mine. Maybe I'll find a way to post the betting calendar on this blog so you readers can place bets too.

The party is scheduled for October 11th. I wish our families were able to come but I know we'll see them all soon enough. Here's the invitation if you are considering attending.

I am excited for the baby party. I realized that this is a good, possibly last, chance to enjoy a party without the distraction of a little one. Plus the positive energy I get from friends marveling at the size of my belly or telling me how much they enjoyed their little ones really boosts my spirits.

I am encouraging people not to bring presents, I need that positive energy and support more than I need presents. (Although I have loved getting to open presents that show up regularly in the mail from our moms.) But my mom said that some people will absolutely want to buy something so I did make an alternative gift registry at her request. It may sound silly to you, but I want this baby to live in a world of less consumption and resource consumption, so I am starting at with its birth.

Birthday Cake

Anyone have a recipe they love for banana cake with frosting?

Daniel and I started birth class last week at Kaiser, my HMO.
We had some reservations. Several people had recommended this Berkeley homebirth class taught by a well known local teacher. We checked into that class and found out it cost $350. What? After all we have decided to shell out to have a homebirth (a decision I am really happy about and will have to write about later) we decided that was too much.

So we looked at what was at Kaiser. The birth class at Kaiser costs $70.
I was worried that we would stand out in the Kaiser class for wanting to have a natural birth. We decided we wouldn't tell anyone in the class we are planning to have our baby at home.

However, the first class far exceeded my expectations. The teacher, LJ, is open minded, experienced, and very good. Three other couples are from Berkeley too. I think Daniel and I seem more relaxed about the whole thing than they do. I guess I am lucky to have so many younger siblings and a close friend who is a midwife so that birth isn't such a foreign topic. In fact, both Daniel and I have a younger sibling that was born at home.

My favorite part was talking about early labor. LJ helped us think about early labor and what we could do then.

I have heard that the reason most first time homebirth mothers transport themselves to the hospital is 'failure to progress'. Failure to progress can be a synonym for impatience. First births can take a while. I totally understand how a first time mother could exhaust herself in the first 24 hours through excitement and anticipation. And when the baby doesn't arrive, she feels worn out, exhausted and fed up and goes to the hospital for pain medication and to get the labor induced. I want to avoid that. A relaxing plan for early labor seems like a good idea.

Here are some of her suggestions we liked:
Go for a walk or a hike
See a movie
Write thank you notes and have the baby enter in a state of gratitude
and my favorite make the baby a birthday cake.

I am already excited about baking a three layer banana cake with whip cream frosting ! It seems perfect to celebrate the occasion. Plus what a way to pass the time. Who has the luxury of time to bake a cake from scratch? I guess a lady-in-waiting, which I will be.

The Yuba River

The South Fork of the Yuba River is one of my favorite places on earth.
Daniel and I drove up there this past weekend to swim and camp. Every time I go, I remember what heaven on earth the river is.
Camping is one of my favorite activities. Yet this is only our second camping trip of the summer. Camping often plays second fiddle to the lure of a party or a concert seemingly not to be missed. But on Saturday night, as Daniel and I sat on sandy ground eating boxed macaroni and cheese, we agreed that there is little more enjoyable than a simple meal under the stars with your sleeping bag just feet away. Probably it helps that there are few to no mosquitoes, perfect temperatures and no chance of rain. We decided our baby will love camping too.





Diving into cold water is no easy feat pregnant. I couldn't image anything other than a belly-flop. So I opted for the crawl in. Sometimes it takes two tries.

My Favorite Things List #1

List #1


Spectator events
Yoga pants
Ice cream
Metamucil
Baths
Getting a seat on BART train

The Outside Lands Music Festival in Golden Gate Park

Sleeping Like A Baby

Sleeping is a big topic in the pregnancy and baby world.

I was once told I would make a good mother since I don't really need that much sleep. I have never particularly liked sleeping. Sleeping (not the other things that can happen in bed) is boring. Don't get me wrong, being well rested is a wonderful feeling but I never really prioritized sleeping. I was even known to blithely quote the saying "sleep when you're dead".

Now lots of things about pregnancy seem either intuitive or perverse. Like the heightened smell ability, what a great way for pregnant women to protect themselves and the baby from food poisoning. Same with the predilection for bland foods, another way to protect the baby. Breast feeding- nature's genius design. All intuitive.

But what about the pregnant sleep? Growing a baby from my flesh and bones and hormones, from the same energy with which I ran my own life obviously takes a lot out of me. So I am more tired than I have ever been. And fatigued. I never knew what fatigue was until I became pregnant. (oh look pregnancy is already building that motherly compassion in me.)
Perversion #1: The paradox is that at the moment I am most tired in my life, I have the most difficulty sleeping: Perversion #1. Sometimes I am not comfortable. I have a huge belly in the way. Sometimes I am too hot- incubators stay warm. Round ligament aches and stomach pains plague me after my brain quiets at night and keep sleep from arriving. Add to that one or more trips to the bathroom at night to relieve my compressed bladder. Plus the need for middle of the night snacks- apples with peanut butter are my favorite- when the baby rumbles for more foods. It adds up to less than a full night's sleep.

I end up having to drag my baby-laden body through days fogged by fatigue. The only remedy for the fog that I know of is coffee. Perversion #2: Cut back on coffee while pregnant. Read: Cut back on coffee when you are the most tired and ill-focused and think that no one at work will mind. What? I didn't have a coffee every day before but now a small cappuccino is mandatory. I would drink three if I was not warned its no good for my growing baby.

So I guess God/Goddess/nature has a sense of humor. You would think that in advance of many nights dedicated to caring for a newborn, I would be allowed the blissful sleep of innocence. Some say that this is preparation for those interrupted nights of baby feeding. I don't buy it.

Someone please send Mr. Sandman my way. I'm leaving my window open.

Pregnant Superheroes

If there ever was to be a pregnant superhero, I know what her superpower would be: hyper sense of Smell. In a typical episode our superhero, lets call her The Incubator! would be called in to determine the location of a bomb threat. The Incubator! would be needed to save the lives of hundreds of office workers trapped in a skyscraper. Using her overly keen sense of smell, she would bravely detect the location and chemical make-up of the threatening bomb. A emergency bomb squad runs in after her keen assessment and the day is saved!


While I am dreaming up superhero roles and costumes that can be played by a woman who is looks like she swallowed a 25 pound bowling ball, my devoted partner in real life- Daniel Sherwood suffers at the nose of his pregnant girlfriend.

Daniel is Canadian. That said, Daniel likes to drink beer. The way children like ice cream or hippies like bacon. However, sometime in my second month of pregnancy he noticed that every time he closed in for a kiss, I would duck away. In bed at night, he would schootch over for a little cuddling and my sweet response would be "Can you please not breathe on me?". Quickly we realized that the smell of beer breath had no allure for this pregnant lady. Teethbrushing, mouth-wash gargling did little to mask the hop soaked aroma of a beer drinker. An aroma that lingers easily 24 hours on the human body.

The appeal of the woman you impregnated as my friend Ben Z. says is irresistible. And Daniel soon avowed off beer in exchange for affection. These days you can catch Daniel, that Chardonnay liberal he is, with a glass of wine or rum cocktail. Everyone has to make some sacrifices for a baby.

The Zipper

I am so glad to be 26 weeks pregnant and not 10 weeks.
At 26 weeks with my belly that enters the room before me, people smile and offer me a seat. The guys at the coffee shop, colleagues in meeting are extra considerate. Although I feel like Winnie-the-Pooh, I also feel cute in a universal way.

However at 10 weeks I didnt think these charming thoughts. In fact at about eight weeks I chose to focus on a zipper.

Since I didn't start this blog until my second trimester. I'll take this post to publish down some thoughts I wrote down in the early weeks.

At about eight weeks, I chose the mental image of a zipper. I began picturing the small chrome colored object. That ingenious and ubiquitous device that is found on purses, blue jeans, backpacks and almost every other personal item. I started wondering 'could I make myself a charm bracelet with one'? I recalled once seeing a zipper ring on a woman's finger.
Pregnancy had taken me for a ride. A ride on a windy mountain road on an empty stomach after two nights without sleep. A ride I could not get off. Barely did the car seem to stop for a break.

Being the kind of girl I am, I was not so poetic about it at the time. No, I griped. I complained. I whined. I moaned. Unfortunately for him, the most frequent listener was the ever-patient Daniel. My gift for words perhaps was more of a trojan horse as I described each churn of my stomach and the smells on the crowded BART. I griped about spinach and feta salads that grossed me out. I complained about onions chopped too coarsely. I whined about being tired and stuffy nostrils.

Until one evening where I was at a party with my good friend Jolie. Jolie was four months ahead of me in pregnancy. Jolie is a inspiration. She is a tough girl. Not tattoo tough, but the kind of tough that stays at a party until midnight and wakes up at 5:30 a.m. to pack a travel van for a trip. Tough enough to bike to everywhere she needs to go. A girl who can share her house with anyone. She doesn't need seem to need things but finds joy in what is. When I asked her how she does it- she said she justs zips the lip. And presto, I realized I needed my own zipper.

So for the next long, few weeks of pregnancy, I visualized a small chrome zipper. It was a meager attempt to keep the outpouring of complains shut inside my lips.
Daniel will tell you I whined like the best three year old. But I want him to know that I tried.

What's in a name?

What's in a name? A rose by any other name would smell so sweet?

Somehow this Shakespeare quote seems rather obtuse as I have to decide what to call my baby for the rest of its life.

Daniel and I are thinking about names. Daniel's been really good at coming up with them. He has this great concept that baby middle names should reflect the place they were born. His brother has the middle name Omar since he was born in Algeria. I think that's cool. That's how Daniel came up with one of our favorite boy names, Andreas. As in the San Andreas Fault.

I, however, live under the blanket of pregnancy fog. Pregnancy fog makes it incredibly hard to think in an associative manner and remember anything. Plus the remaining clarity I have is used to keep my solar work on track. So I am terrible at remembering all those names I have loved for the last 30 years of my life. Yes, I did the girl thing and made lists of my favorite names. I played "hands up" through out grade school with 'names of... boys'.

We do have a few front runners we really like. I want your input, its easy to come up with a weirdo name- I've seen it done. And then no one can say anything to your face. Be kind with your responses as we do like these names. Here goes:

Boy Andreas Joaquin Raphael Kofi

Girl Jolie Celeste Tanya Tatyana Anika

Have at it.

Free Box

On my way to work this morning, I scored a bottle of chewable papaya enzyme tablets , organic nipple cream, and Gripe Water- an herbal tonic to relieve baby colic. I picked these things out of a cardboard box placed near the curb and a child carseat. They were clearly there for the taking along with a few other new baby items that didnt appeal to me. The first item is unopened, the other two are barely used and new looking.

Berkeley has a traditional of recycling. Municipal curbside recycling began in Berkeley in the 70's. Today however, a more informal version of curbside recycling has entered local culture. I would guess it originates from the Free Box concept. The Free Box was a wooden platform in People's Park in Berkeley that goes back to the park's establishment in the late 60's. Anyone could bring stuff that they no longer wanted to the box and leave it there for someone else to pick through and pick up. I haven't looked to see whether the People's Park Free Box still stands. The community freebox requires someone cleans up the truly unwanted cast-offs. Today's People Park is home to many homeless and the Free Box can get pretty skanky.

Well somehow this idea has been translated in the personal free box. A resident puts out a bunch of items that he or she no longer wants and lets passersby come and take what they will.
I love this.
More than the good stuff I've scored over the years, I love the assumptions that make this system work. First, that people in the neighborhood walk. Many will walk by and someone will find something they will take home. And second, that products, say 2/3 a bottle of hair conditioner can have a second life.

So today I am a little more ready for my baby with a couple organic creams and chewable relief to heartburn. Thanks neighbor.

'Are you excited?'

The number one question I get as a pregnant lady is 'Are you excited?'

If that's excited as in going to big party, Burning Man, a new job, a promising date; then the answer is no. Excited doesn't seem to encapsulate the feelings I am having.

The feelings I am having have ranged from themes of 'the Zipper', "I feel like a Science Experiment' 'A pot-bellied three toed tree sloth', and 'the Slow Life'. I hope to write on these subjects over the next weeks.

But excited? As in butterflies in my stomach, counting the moments until the day arrives. Not really.
Maybe its my life strategy of managing expectations. If I don't expect too much, I won't be so disappointed. Sometimes that seems like a very defensive outlook. Other times it seems supremely practical. I don't enjoy the feeling of the floor falling out from under me. There were some years when I went leaping off of waterfalls. But somehow that doesn't seem the best strategy for pregnancy and expecting a baby.
Yet I also think I am denying myself joy- the joy of exploration of growing a new being inside my body, of approaching motherhood.
So this week I am trying to find a way to get excited. What I have read and noticed is that most expecting parents seem to get excited by shopping for new baby things. This definitely does not excite me. Even worse it puts a spell of doomsday over my head as it suggests I am about to begin a life of shopping and errands for meaningless, practical stuff.
So instead I am trying to think of things I can do to build excitement and anticipation for the baby's arrival in early November.
Does anyone have any suggestions?
I just finished my first baby quilt for my inspirational friend, Jolie and her brand new baby Chasin. I could start another for myself. Other ideas?