Full versus Busy

Monday, Tuesday and Thursday I am woken by Joaquin calling or crying from his room. Sometimes the sky is still gray and the clock reads 6:00 a.m. Other days I am already in a wakeful sleep when his first noises wake me. First thing I do is nurse Joaquin in my bed. If its six and I am tired, my sweetheart takes Joaquin to the coffee shop two blocks away to let Joaquin watch the ceiling fans and sip an early coffee. Then I get up, get dressed, dress Joaquin and one of us starts to feed him breakfast. At 8:30 Brenda and Sofia, our babysitter and her toddler, come in to take over. Daniel drives me to the carpool and I am off to San Francisco. Then I become solar evangelist and policy wonk. At 6:30 I return home and do a reverse order of the morning.
Wednesdays, Fridays, and weekends are a shuffle of fun and life maintenance while entertaining a munchkin on my hip.

I have often used the word busy to describe my life, meant as a positive response describing a lot of self subscribed activity, but I never liked the word. Somehow it also alluded to the notion that I was too occupied to appreciate what was at hand. And perhaps I bristled the most at the connection between busy and business. That somehow busy meant the substance of life had become business, not pleasure.
Now that my hands are so literally full. I could easily respond that I am busy.

But that's not how life feels. Life feels full. My hands are full of pudgy, delicious, squirmy baby. My mind is full of observations of firsts- was that a first baby kiss? a first wave, first tuna sandwich. My mind is also full of solar policy details, then add to that the many family connections that have been strengthened with the arrival of Joaquin. Somewhere pushed from the forefront are my old delights like my girlfriends, music, nature observations whose return I anticipate. And laced throughout every thought are the must-do errands of life.

My heart is full. I looked at that little face that I look at with wonder easily 50 times a day as he was drifting to sleep in his stroller this morning and my heart swelled to where I could feel the warm of tears in the back of my eyes. My love for Daniel has grown and my gratitude for his nature knows no bounds.

Life is full. Sometimes this is hard for my friends and co-workers without children to understand. I am sure I did not understand last year this time.

Nosedive

Happy Camper

Since Joaquin learned to crawl, he is the happiest baby. No more Colonel Fuss-Fuss as we used to call him. Now the world has become one happy jungle gym. Joaquin climbs and tumbles to his delight on my bed, on the sofa, in the park, on the sidewalk. He is a joy. And he is still an excellent napper. At least two one and half hour naps a day. Sometimes one of those is 2 and a half hours and then I miss him. We haven't thought of a new nickname to take place of Colonel Fuss-Fuss. His current nicknames are Sillyboo and Joaquinito. And of course Nosedive for the recent rock kissing moment at the Yuba River.

Last weekend we camped at the Yuba River. It was just delightful. Warm and sunny and clear water. We walked up stream from our favorite swimming hole and camping spot (near Bowman Lake Rd off highway 20 east of Auburn, I wrote about it here last year) and played in warm shallow pools. Joaquin loved the water. Daniel and I were happy to be outside. After Joaquin went to bed in the tent, which he thought was one of those giant birthday party bouncey houses, Daniel and I sat under a full blanket of stars on a moonless night. I havent felt so happy in a while.

Sunday, we joined friends downriver for a inner tube run. The day was a perfect set up for both Daniel and I to join in on the fun. We all hiked up river. At about halfway, we set Daniel and Joaquin up on a nice river beach. I continued to hike further upstream with my inner tube and our friends. Then I got to jump in the warm water and float and ride little rapids downstream until I came to Joaquin. He was asleep buck naked on Daniel's chest under an umbrella. A very cute scene. Daniel handed me the baby and it was his turn to ride rapids and float. Joaquin and I hiked back down river to a popular sandy beach called the Mothers. Because a lot of little kids like to swim in the gentle current of the shallow pool. Mothers beach is near the hippy enclaves of Nevada City and North San Juan Ridge so the beach party consisted of naked bathers, shakahachi player, drummers and joyful kids. Joaquin and I played in the water for hours.

Recently I realized when Joaquin is happy, I am happy. Is life that simple?

Wish I had taken some pictures at the Yuba River but with all the water and the sand, the camera never left the backpack.

Claudia turns 33

Another birthday for me. Thirty three is no youngster. But I feel like I have a lot to show for my still tender age.

I decided to have a Backyard Cinema Party. The idea came from the backyard cinema I attended for my young friends Sophia and Mickey last month. The party was great. With the help of Jolie and Brian, I rigged a white bed sheet up high under the live oak tree in the backyard. I had the genius idea to duct tape change- quarters and nickels- to the bottom of the sheet to weigh the fabric down.
I set a table with soda, beer, rum, peanuts, M&Ms and fresh popcorn made on an electric popper in the backyard and tada! a great cinema was had. About 20 friends of all ages showed up. Joaquin feel asleep at 7:00 so hardly anyone got to get a peek at my cutie but it did make it easier for me to enjoy the night.

We watched part of the silent star Buster Keaton's the General which has a great steam locomotive chase scene. Followed by Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon which was the perfect movie for the big screen under the stars. The second movie went until almost 1 a.m. Mickey and Sophia made it past midnight. Most friends had gone home. I was happy to sit with my original number one boy and enjoy the film. Daniel even surprised me with chocolate hazelnut cake from La Farine.

The next day, Saturday, we took it easy and I received two great presents. First, Daniel and Joaquin took me to a frame shop. I thought I was getting a framed picture of Joaquin, I am a mama now after all. But the gift was much better. Daniel had taken a canvass painted by my grandfather Frank Duminil and had it stretched onto a wooden frame so I could hang it. Last year my Abuelita carried the painted roll of canvass from Paris to Berkeley for me. The second gift was from my pop. Daniel and he conspired to get me an Xtracycle. The Xtracycle is an amazing cargo bike that I have wanted for years. Pictures to come.

It was a lovely birthday that ended with a rare July evening rainshower followed by a beautiful double rainbow.
A rainbow is a blessing. I will accept that blessing for me and my tender family as I walk less than sure-footed through the new terrain of mama, baby and family.

Crawling

And then, finally, Joaquin learned to crawl. I thought he would crawl at six months. He looked so eager on all fours. Then he learned to sit and suddenly forgot about being stuck on his belly facing the floor. A few weeks later again he spent hours on all fours pushing up from his belly onto his hind legs. He got the hang of some locomotion but only in reverse. I would heard him crying out and come in to the room to find him stuck under furniture. His head still free but his butt and legs tucked under the couch. And he didnt know how to go forward.
Many times a day he tried this routine. 1. Lay flat on belly. 2. Push up to hands, chest off the floor. 3. Then get his feet and legs over him, butt high in the air. 4. Then stuck. No idea how to move his hands one pace at a time. From butt high in the air, Joaquin learned to push back to sitting. This is super satisfying. Suddenly, Joaquin could sit anytime he wanted. And if he was sitting and fell over, he could put himself back to sitting. It was a great development.
It seemed any day he would crawl. Daniel and I started crawling around the living room to show him how to move his hands. He seemed to getting tips. Then one day just before my birthday, he crawled a few paces for my cell phone. Here is a video of one his first successful attempts at crawling.


Now he can crawl at will, but slowly. And cautiously since his heavy head still bonks the floor sometimes. However, if my laptop computer is the goal all caution is thrown to the wind.
People tell me it only gets better. I have to let that reassure me because I want to hold each day with him as long as I can.

Fourth of July

We went camping in Bolinas, a small eco-hippy village about 50 miles north of San Francisco on the coast for the fourth of July weekend. We camped in the backyard of a friend of our friends. Bolinas is a beautiful, magical town with a tiny mainstreet, a beach, and surrounded by organic farms and hiking trails.
I feel lucky that now Joaquin loves riding in the car (after four months of screaming through ever ride excepting when I sang Two Little Kitty Cats). He slept the whole ride this morning.
We saw dolphins or more likely porpoises in the water on Saturday morning. Our family loves the ocean. Daniel likes to surf and sleep on beaches, I like the beach ecosystem and Joaquin loves the sound of the waves.
Joaquin learned to pull himself to standing on this picturesque bench. He seemed so pleased with himself. He wanted to stay there all night. We visited the bench again with his lifelong friend, Chasin. A good time was had by all.

Hey Joaquin remember that time...