Perfectly Joaquin

Who is Joaquin Rafael Eyzaguirre Sherwood? No one knows yet. Perhaps I see a glimmer of his future personality. For example, he is very focused on his task at hand, most often chewing his hand. And the world around him doesn't matter. He hardly flinches at a door slammed, doesn't mind sunlight in his eyes and can sleep through live rock bands. In that way he reminds me of Daniel. Daniel can productivity design solar power arrays at the dining room table while Joaquin and I sing and dance around the room. He just tunes us out. He also seems pleased with himself when he accomplishes a little goal. Like pulling a felt monkey off his playmat or rolling from tummy to back. Those are only guesses. We'll see. Daniel wonders if he'll be opinionated like me.

Last week I learned that I must work on recognizing that Joaquin is who he is. To be honest to myself, I have been a little disappointed that Joaquin is not a placid, observant baby. As I read in the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg "During nine months of pregnancy, virtually all parents come to have an image of the baby they're expecting... This is especially true of older mums and dads who ... have waited to their thirities or forties to start a family". I thought if I meet Joaquin's needs- which I am proud to say I do well- then he would just be a quiet, cute observer that I tote along to the pleasant rhythm of my childless days. Hogg writes about this too: "successful women who leave thriving careers to become mothers... think that you can impose your management skills onto your baby, and you may be surprised, dissappointed, or angry when your infant doesn't cooperate. You're having a moment of denial, luv, believing that life with Baby will continue to be just as it was before he arrived." Okay I am not alone.

In real life, Joaquin is an active little boy. He is always trying to do something. Grab for a toy, chew his fingers, stand in my lap, rub his face for a nap. He's all snips and snails and puppy dog tails. That's what little boys are made of. And he is so cute doing it all. He is a wonderful baby. A sleeper any parent would dream of- he goes for naps like a family dog and knows that the dark if for sleeping. So I have decided that I must recognize that he is and will always be prefectly Joaquin and I am going to love and set my expectations appropriately for that. Because what a lame parent I would be if I set my expectations for a baby that never fussed, went along with all my wants and when he didn't cooperate, I called that failure. Yes, let's try to nip that in bud in Joaquin's infancy.

But I will also confess before I came to this Zen moment, I took the quiz in the Hogg book for what kind of baby do I have. I made Daniel take it too for a more objective opinion. (HA!) I was so worried that I would have the Grumpy or Touchy baby. But Joaquin turns out not to be an Angel baby, no shock there. He is a Textbook baby with a few characteristics of the Spirited baby and a few of the Angel. Whew.